Beg for Me (DW Version)

[anxious_heart]

everyone is looking at me
I can't get out of bed
there is evil in my head
everyone just let me be
because when I hit the stage
it is gone and I am free

Goddam; you say you'll get up for me
you're the crowd, come on give it back to me
you won't beg for me, beg for me, beg for me

Goddam; you say you'll get up with me
you're the crowd, come on give it back to me
you won't beg for me, be there for me, beg for me

tell me, how could this fade?
I am going in shame
and the crowd has my pain
everyone please let me be
'Cause we're on stage
And it's gone and I am free

Goddam you say you'll get up with me
you're the crowd, come on give it back to me
you won't beg for me, beg for me, beg for me

Goddam you say you'll get up with me
you're the crowd, come on give it back to me
you won't beg for me, be there for me, beg for me

I feel the shame
I'm not insane
the things I feel now
aren't the same
who gives a fuck
if my life sucks?
I just know one day
I won't give up

everyone just let me be

Goddam you say you'll get up with me
you're the crowd, come on give it back to me
you won't beg for me, beg for me, beg for me

Goddam you say you'll get up with me
you're the crowd, come on give it back to me
you won't beg for me, be there for me, beg for me

be there
for me

I wonder if there's the same loyalty I pledge to others coming back to me. Are they going to be there when I really need them? Is there any one of them that really understands the way that I think, the way that I feel, the way that I am? Am I wanted? Am I needed? Am I really loved? When I'm down and out, these are the questions that I ask myself. The people in my life know without a doubt I'll be there for them, but who's down for me?

I don't ask a lot of my friends. The vast majority of the time, when my back is up against the wall, I don't even tell anyone. I just handle it myself. I handle all my problems alone. I don't like discussing or sharing them. I'm not the venting type either. I just do whatever needs to be done to push through. That's why when I do really need something, I expect those that I would drop everything for to be there for me. This is when people start showing their true colors. Some of them only care about their needs in the end.

I guess a part of me is afraid to find out that someone I care deeply for will refuse to be there for me in one of those rare moments that I reach out for help. "Who gives a fuck if my life sucks?" That feeling is followed by a lot of anger. People talk and talk and talk about how much they care and how they'll go for a friend in need. It's sickening to see those oaths become words without any meaning at all. "I just know one thing: I won't give up."